The names below are fictitious. As are many of the details. They are not meant as a criticism of Jonah - because I see myself in Jonah often. I feel that the book of Jonah ends on an unresolved note because it has been recorded for us. The main point is that God want's to know what we will do when we come face to face with God's mercy. Will we show mercy? Or will we try to keep the mercy all for ourselves. What Jonah did after chapter 4, verse 11 would be great to know, but is completely beside the point of the book of Jonah. What will you do with the truth? Putting the book of Jonah on Facebook just helps me see myself a little better in the book of Jonah. I wish I had time to include the feed of the captain of the ship Jonah was on, and the King of Ninevah in side by side columns. But I hope you enjoy the following.
Jonah: Why me? feeling angry :(
Malfor: What's the matter Jonah?
Jonah: Oh, just God always gives me the bad assignments. #lifestinks :(
Malfor: What this time?
Jonah: God wants me to go preach against Ninevah! :(
Malfor: What are you going to do?
Hannah: Oh, Jonah, I'm sorry! *hugs*
Jonah: I'm not going to do it!
Jethro: Good for you Jonah! #yolo #stickittotheman
Malfor: Praying for you, Jonah!
Hannah: Be careful, Jonah!
Jonah: That's it, I'm out of here. Sick of these people and sick of God telling me what to do! I'm over it! #runningfromGod
Jethro: You gotta do what you gotta do, Jonah!
Hannah: Oh, Jonah, it will get better! Message me if you need someone to talk to.
Jonah: Thanks, Hannah, I'm ok, I'm just moving on.
Malfor: You might want to think about this some more.
Jonah: No, I've made up my mind, and it's about time I do something for me. I never get to do what I want!
Jethro: Do it Jonah! #liveyourlife
Jonah: Found a boat. Ready for my new life! feeling hopeful
Hannah: Where are you going?
Jonah: Anywhere but here or Ninevah. This ship is headed for Tarshish, baby #cantstopmenow
Hannah: I'm glad things are going better for you! Hope it works out!
Jonah: It's all good Hannah! I'm already loving the new me! #freedom #norules #catchmeifyoucan
Malfor: This seems like a bad idea, I'm praying for you!
Uzi: Me too. Good luck Jonah! Feel free to stop by if you're out my way
Jonah: Thanks guys! See you on the other side. We're moving and it's time for me to get some sleep
Jonah: God found me. I'm in trouble. feeling annoyed
Hannah: Are you OK?
Jonah: Big storm, all my fault.
Hannah: Don't say that, Jonah. Storms happen at sea.
Jonah: No, this one is all me. God is coming to get me.
Jethro: That's crazy talk, Jonah! You just need to forget about God.
Malfor: There is probably time to make it right Jonah!
Jonah: It's too late for me.
Jonah: I told them to throw me overboard.
Jonah: Does anybody care?
Hannah: I just saw this Jonah, I'm so sorry! Life is so unfair! *hugs*
Jonah: I can't do anything right!
Hannah: I thought they were throwing you overboard! What happened? Are you OK?
Jonah: They did, and I've been swallowed by a huge fish.
Jethro: Is that even possible?
Jonah: Apparently. #frombadtoworse
Malfor: I hate to sound like a broken tablet, but you need to make it right Jonah. Repent!
Jethro: You can't go back Jonah. Who wants to follow a mean God like that. All this evil in the world and still there are people clinging to their swords and scriptures! Don't get me started on these idiotic religious people. You're better off without them and without God. At least you will die free and not burdened by all these old rules that religious people follow. Keeping a Sabbath? Not for you, you're a free man!
Jonah: I know. I probably should have done things differently, but it's too late now.
Hannah: Wish I could make things better.
Jonah: Thanks, Hannah. It's good to know someone cares.
Malfor: God cares - He's trying to get your attention.
Jonah: Day 2, it stinks in here! feeling depressed
Jethro: Yeah, but you're free!
Hannah: You're still alive? *Hugs* Keep us posted
Jonah: Day 3, it still stinks in here! I never want to eat another fish in my life, which probably won't be much of an issue.
Malfor: We're still praying, Jonah
Jonah's mom: How did I miss this? I hope you're wearing clean underwear! Are you brushing your teeth? I hope those sailors weren't too rough on you. Is someone feeding your golden fishes?
Jonah: Mom, I don't think clean underwear is one of my top worries! Or brushing my teeth. Sampson & Delilah are with Jobab - I'm sure he's taking good care of them.
Jonah's mom: Don't give up sweet little boy. Remember God loves you.
Jonah: Mom, stop! Remember that everyone can see what you write on here!
Malfor: But she has good advice, Jonah
Jonah: All this seaweed and dead fish and water? It's over for me.
Jonah: Day 4, I think, or I'm going crazy. OK God, you win!
Jethro: Don't do it, man. You were doing so well!
Jonah: In this fish, you're crazy!
Malfor: Submit to God and He will lift you up, Jonah
Jonah: I told God I'd do what He wanted. He is my salvation
Jonah's mom: You make me so proud, son!
Jonah: That's a first! Vommited up by a giant fish! feeling sick :P
Hannah: I'm so glad you're ok! Where are you?
Jonah: On dry ground, that's all that matters to me, now!
Malfor: Don't forget about God, Jonah. What are you going to do?
Jonah: I think I need to get cleaned up, get some rest, then we'll see
Jonah: I guess a shower is out of the question.
Jethro: You gotta take care of yourself, Jonah! What's wrong with a shower?
Jonah: God told me to go to Ninevah again. I don't think I should mess around this time.
Jethro: What is wrong with you? 3 days in a fish, and you think God wants good things for you? Look at me, I don't need God and I'm fine!
Malfor: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean NOT unto thine own understanding." Solomon was pretty wise. God will direct your paths, Jonah.
Hannah: Ew, no shower? no *hugs*
Jonah's mom: Don't forget your manners, Jonah. And no talking to strangers.
Jonah: I'm preaching to a city where I don't know anyone, mom, that might be a little difficult.
Jonah: This city is big! near Ninevah
Jonah: Here goes nothing!
Uzi: Preach it, Jonah!
Malfor: Praying for your success, Jonah?
Jonah: Why? I just want to preach and get out of here before God destroys it.
Malfor: But maybe God will spare them?
Jonah: I hope not! Let's just get this over with.
Jonah: Well, that was awkward!
Hannah: What's wrong, Jonah?
Jonah: I got a friend request from the king!
Hannah: King Jereboam? Wow, it is so cool that I even know you!
Jonah: No, the King of Ninevah. He want's to learn more about God!
Jethro: Don't do it Jonah!
Jonah: That wasn't part of my orders from God. These evil people need to die.
Malfor: Jonah, you have a great opportunity, here! Take it!
Jonah: Who do these people think they are?
Uzi: The Ninevites?
Jonah: Yeah, they are all sitting around in sackcloth and ashes.
Malfor: That's great, Jonah! God is using you!
Jethro: Great! More religious nuts that waste their time following God. Look what it's done for you!
Jonah: It's not like they are Jewish or anything!
Jonah: I'm better off dead! feeling exceedingly angry
Hannah: *hugs*
Jethro: That's what you get for believing in God!
Malfor: Don't be angry, Jonah, put your hope in God!
Hannah: What's the matter?
Jonah: I knew it, I knew God would show mercy!
Malfor: Mercy is a good thing, Jonah.
Jonah: not for these Ninevites, they ought to die for their sins!
Malfor: What about your sins, Jonah?
Malfor: Jonah?
Jonah: I'm better off dead!
Hannah: I'm so sorry, Jonah! *hugs*
Uzi: What's wrong?
Hannaniel: Where are you, last I heard you were running from God? I guess I should be on more often.
Jonah: I'm outside of Ninevah. And my gourd died.
Hannah: Your gourd? Oh, poor Jonah.
Uzi: What are you doing?
Jonah: Waiting to see if God will destroy the city.
Uzi: I must have missed something, is "my gourd died" some new expression?
Jonah: No, my gourd died. I was sitting here and a gourd grew up over me to shade me yesterday, and today it died. And there is a hot, violent wind and the sun is beating down on me.
Malfor: Why don't you go spend some time in the King's house? He'll take you in.
Jonah: No, I deserve to sit here and be angry. And I'm better off dead.
Malfor: So you're upset over a gourd that died, and upset that the city hasn't been destroyed?
Jonah: Pretty much.
Malfor: But that city must have well over 120,000 people in it, and lots and lots of cows. And you are upset over a gourd.
Jonah: That's what God said.
Malfor: So fix it, Jonah.
Malfor: Jonah?
great job!
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